Dustin Jarrett: What it’s like to be a new student with a stutter

“Hello. My name is D… D… D…” I would generally let out a sigh or a grunt at this point. “D… D… sorry. I am D… D… Dustin!” This is a greeting that many of the people I have met at the University of Toledo receive.

Am I nervous? No. Am I afraid? No.

I have a stutter.

I have stuttered ever since I was seven years old. I have made substantial progress over the years with coping with and managing my stutter. The strange thing is that in all my years, saying my own first name has never given me as much trouble as it does now.

Is it the fear of meeting new people? Is it being in a new place? It could be all, or none of these factors. It could be a mix of emotions, plus the fact that I’m now in an environment in which I am the authoritative adult in my life, and as such I don’t have any wiggle room when it comes to talking to others.

Throughout time, I’ve had to learn to work through my stutter and not attempt to avoid it. Being on campus, which is where I am receiving therapy to manage my stutter, constantly reminds me of the fact that I am here on my own basis, whereas in high school, I had friends or teachers who could look out for me and have my back if I was having a bad day of stuttering. The fact that I was surrounded by those who knew about my stutter and knew me for who I really was, made speaking in high school easier than speaking here at college.

What is interesting to note is that I’m not afraid of being here, and I’m not afraid of meeting new people. I think the biggest threat is my own past faults.

You would not know it by meeting me now, but in my high school years, I was extremely introverted and self-occupied (somewhat because of my stutter). When I came to college, I made the resolve to be outgoing and act as an extrovert.

So far, as I’ve reached the end of my third week here, I have found this experiment to be amazingly successful. I have already made more friends and joined more clubs like The Way Campus Ministry, Toledo Campus Ministry and Quidditch, which is more than I could have hoped.

Given everything that I have said, I re-approach my opening question: “What’s it like being a new student with a stutter?” As I go through the days as a new student, I have to face adapting to a new lifestyle, a new way of approaching classes and a new way of handling interactions with new people. I face a lot of the same questions and fears that most new students face, and that is the simple truth of it.

What is different is that I can see the reactions in people’s faces when I first begin to speak or respond to them and they hear my stutter. What sets things apart this time around is that because I now often initiate conversations and because students can tell that I have a firm grasp on what I intend to say, the shock of my stutter seems to subside quickly. Why is this important? I’m not seen as being “mentally-challenged” as some may have thought otherwise. That is what it’s like being a new student with a stutter.

Bearing this in mind, I think, perhaps, the reason I’m having difficulty with my own name, is because I’m not used to having to worry about saying it. My unconscious mind can tell there is something different and it doesn’t know how to react to it.

All in all, the main point that I want to get across to other new students is this: I have a stutter. I am a new student. There are many reasons to be afraid of college life and of other students, but if you put yourself out there, regardless of these flaws or fears, you’ll find that you can enjoy your time at the University of Toledo. You can find friends and relationships that are positive and even inspirational. Go out there and enjoy the time you have.

Dustin Jarrett is a first-year majoring in speech language pathology.