Lutz: 10 steps for getting over a past relationship

Getting over a breakup can be difficult. OK, let’s face it, getting over a breakup is hard. It’s hard for anyone; however, there are ways to make getting over a breakup easier. Here is a list of 10 things that have helped me get over an ex in the past.

1. Cut off contact
You know you’re not capable of being their friend right now, if ever. Maybe someday, but it’ll be easier for you to move on if you cut all ties. Don’t allow your ex to string you along, and yes this even means no 2 a.m. Saturday night “I miss you” texts, and no “we’re both lonely” cuddling sessions. If you’re not ready to completely unfriend and unfollow your ex from social networks, at least hide them from your feed and definitely stop stalking their pages.

2. Be sad… for a little while
It’s OK to cry; in fact, it’s a natural part of the grieving process. Allowing yourself to be sad for a little while helps you release all of those pent up emotions that are not healthy to keep bottled up inside. So blast “The Scientist” by Coldplay on repeat, grab a tub of your favorite ice cream and let the tears flow. Just don’t lie around moping for too long!

3. Vent to your BFFs
Friends always know just what to say to make you feel like your world isn’t falling apart. No matter what’s been said, or done, your friends always find a way to convince you that you are not only amazing, beautiful and intelligent, but you are also always right and anyone else opposing you, is wrong. When your heart has just been ripped out, sometimes you just need someone to let you vent like an emotional, irrational lunatic and tell you that everything you think and feel is completely warranted and that everything will be OK.

4. Get rid of reminders
After a breakup, you need to clear yourself of memory triggers while you heal. You don’t need your ex’s toothbrush or shampoo in your shower anymore; if that scent of candle in your apartment reminds you of them, ditch if for a new scent! Take down the old photographs of you two together; stop cheering for their favorite sports teams, stop sleeping in his old T-shirt, take their sister’s save-the-date off of your refrigerator. It will be easier to move on if there aren’t daily reminders lingering around to bring you down.

5. Stop analyzing
Stop second-guessing how you handled the relationship. Sometimes we tend to analyze a play-by-play in our heads of the relationship and how and why it went wrong. Wondering if it would’ve lasted if it had been handled differently is enough to drive anyone insane, and just isn’t constructive thinking.

6. Do something they hated
Remember how your ex hated Lana Del Rey’s voice, so you stopped listening to her music when the two of you were together? And remember how your lactose intolerant ex couldn’t handle eating spicy Indian food? Or how they hated classic films? Well, blast Miss Del Rey as loud as you can, gorge yourself on a giant bowl of curry chicken from your favorite Indian restaurant, and follow it up with a nice creamy milkshake for dessert! And end your night curled up watching a Humphrey Bogart noire film marathon. You’ll be surprised how good it feels when you remind yourself who you were before you were with them, and how much you actually do love yourself.

7. Pamper yourself
You don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars at a spa to feel pampered. Pampering can be something as simple as sleeping in, taking time for you to relax and recharge is a vital part of the healing process. So whether it’s face masks, pedicures and getting your hair done, or sleeping in, taking a bath instead of a shower for a change or splurging on that one expensive item you’ve been pining over for months — pamper yourself; you’ll feel amazing for it.

8. Challenge yourself
A breakup is a blow to anyone’s self-esteem, and sometimes you just need to find new reasons to love yourself. Showing yourself you can accomplish something great, or surprising yourself and achieving something that you thought might be too challenging for you, is one of the best ways to rebuild your self-esteem. Nothing feels better than doing something you didn’t think you could do, and actually doing it well. Remember how good it feels to think, “Yes! I nailed it!” So challenge yourself, and you will continue to surprise yourself.
9. Catch up on all of the things you’ve been putting off
Remember how you were going to have your grandma teach you how to crochet? Remember that group painting class your friends have been talking about taking for months? Remember how you were going to redecorate your bedroom? Remember all those Pinterest projects you’ve just been dying to try? Well, go for it! Take advantage of your newfound freedom, and spend your time however YOU want. Freedom feels great now doesn’t it?

10. Try new things and go new places
Stop going to the same places, doing the same things, eating the same food as you did when you two were together. Step outside of your comfort zone and try new things, keep an open mind and you never know what could come your way. Maybe you’ll meet different types of people you would’ve otherwise never met; maybe you’ll discover a new hobby you love, or a new type of cuisine you can’t live without. Not only will you be making new memories without your ex, but you also won’t have your old memories lingering around either.
Devan Lutz is a third-year majoring in communication.