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Knock at the back door

Anal sex and "taboo" topics with Dr. Kimberly McBride

Amanda Pitrof / IC

Joe Heidenescher, Community Editor

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It’s Valentine’s Day, and you and your significant other planned something special. You go out to dinner, watch a movie, share gifts of chocolate and flowers, but the real treat comes when you get under the sheets. You may want to try something new, and one of you might even suggest “the back door.” But before this freaks you out, or causes panic, it’s important to realize that it’s less taboo than you think.

UT professor Dr. Kimberly McBride makes it her goal to provide much needed answers to some uncomfortable questions.

“One of my interests is really around heterosexual anal sex and anal sexuality and I think it’s something that from statistics we see is happening fairly often, but people aren’t really talking about it,” McBride said.

McBride’s Ph. D. studies and post-doctoral research has included health behavior, human sexuality and sex, gender and reproduction. She now specifically studies heterosexual anal intercourse and has been quoted in Cosmopolitan and Men’s Health magazines on the topic.

She said the most important thing to do first is to “do your research.” So we asked her a few questions we think our readers might find beneficial before engaging in anal intercourse.

Q: Is it uncommon to have anal sex?

A: McBride said heterosexual anal sex is not uncommon, just not as openly talked about: “Sex research shows us that anal intercourse, a man putting his penis in a woman’s anus, is not uncommon. Large-scale studies have found that over 40 percent of adult women and 39 percent of adult men have tried it at least once in their life. If we look at how often people are doing it, about 8 percent of women and 4 percent of men age 18-19 are having anal sex at least once a month. People in committed relationships are most likely to have anal sex on a regular basis.”

Q: Is it “gay” to have anal sex?

A: McBride said no, and it “is a really unfortunate myth that persists in our society. Actually, more straight women are having receptive anal sex each year than gay men.”

Q: Is it unclean/unsafe?

A: “People often worry that anal sex is ‘dirty,’” McBride said, but “as long as waste has been eliminated in advance, cleanliness shouldn’t be an issue. However, going back and forth between anal and vaginal can cause bacterial infections. If you are using a condom, it needs to be changed in between behaviors.”

Q: Should I ever consider bleaching or shaving my anus?

A: “Pubic hair removal is really common these days,” McBride said, but “anal bleaching is definitely a no. In fact, some of the ingredients in anal bleaches are known carcinogens [cancer causing agents] and they are banned in other countries, including the UK.” Shaving and waxing can also be dangerous according to McBride. “The Brazilian wax is certainly a favorite, even among women who aren’t having anal. We do know that shaving or waxing can cause little micro-tears that aren’t visible to the naked eye. These tears can make it more likely that a person will contract a sexually transmitted infection (STI). Some women also report allergic reactions to waxing, which can be uncomfortable.”

Q: I’ve always wanted to try it, but what if my partner is uncomfortable with it? How do I ask?

A: “Communication is critical in sexual relationships,” McBride said. “Asking is the best way to find out what your partner thinks. If they feel uncomfortable, honor that and don’t keep pushing them to do something they don’t want to do.” McBride said it is as simple as saying, “Hey, I just read an article about anal sex. Would you ever think about trying it?”

Q: Is it going to hurt? Can I hurt myself?

A: McBride said “if it is done wrong, it can hurt.” She said the important part is to know that penile-anal sex is very different than penile-vaginal sex and it requires help from lubrication.

“The anus doesn’t naturally self-lubricate in the same way the vagina does and the tissues are more fragile. If you’re going to try anal, having lots of water-based lube on hand will be important. Not only will it make it more comfortable, but it will protect against tearing. Relaxation is also key to a comfortable and pleasurable anal experience. Going slow and listening/giving feedback to a partner are important. It is probably best to start out with a finger or toy before going straight to penile-anal intercourse.”

Q: Isn’t the anus “only an exit”?

A: McBride said the short answer is no. She says “anal penetration can be pleasurable. In fact, the anus is rich in nerve endings that make it sensitive to sexual stimulation.”

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