Harker: Does it matter who does dishes?

I usually don’t do the dishes at my apartment, and I usually don’t do my own laundry. No, I don’t live at home anymore and no, it’s not all the time, but during the workweek, that is a very true statement. That’s really only made possible because my boyfriend of almost two years helps and does them both.
I mentioned this to a friend of mine the other day, and she reacted with such shock and awe that I really thought she was about to fall out of her chair. “You got him to do all of that for you?” and “Wow, I wonder what he gets in return for that” are both responses people have given me when they found out about this weird quirk in my relationship.
Personally, I never thought it was a big deal. Isn’t that how relationships work? It’s supposed to be 50 percent him and 50 percent me. Yet, when it comes to doing 50 percent housework, it seems to be a miracle that he lifts a finger, and apparently I shouldn’t expect him to, which doesn’t make sense to me at all.
Nick has never once complained, never once gotten mad at me for his doing the laundry or demanded that I do the dishes after a long day at school and work. No, he just does it because he loves me, and it’s really as simple as that. The hours that he currently works at his job allow him to be home a lot more than me during the evenings, giving him the perfect time to get basic housework done during the week that I really would never have the chance to get done. So on Monday through Friday, if anything needs cleaned, wiped down, mopped, swept or dusted, Nick’s your guy. Then, when I am home on the weekends and he is busy at work, I clean the apartment, do dishes, laundry and everything else. Because we are a team.

I don’t think I could have made it as far as I have in my career and had so many accomplishments at school without the loving support of someone who is willing pick up so much of the slack at home. The whole point of being in any relationship is to help support each other and help them grow. So why is it so surprising that he would do just as much at home as me?
Assigning gender roles to basic housework and praising boys when they pick up a broom or rinse off a glass is problematic for everyone involved in the relationship. Assuming that one person is and should be responsible for the majority of the cleaning when that person isn’t making the majority of the mess is also problematic. Every couple, regardless of gender, needs to work together to find a system that works for them. So when you go home tonight, regardless of your gender, pick up a broom, grab a mop, and tell your significant other you love them.
Jessica Harker is a third-year communications student and the IC’s Editor-in-Chief.