Nieszczur: The words I don’t say enough to my best friend

There are few things in life better than the comfort of a best friend. They are there for us when we need them, always up for a good time and no matter the distance, they always show they care. I can guarantee someone’s face just popped into your mind as you read that. For me, that person is Alexis Willoughby.

Many of us are so used to constantly seeing our best friends, sending them that daily text and covering our rooms with their photos, we often take them for granted. This is not to say that we ‘use’ them or forget about them, but that we forget to say thank you for all that they do for us.

Alexis and I met in high school. After joining a few of the same organizations, we became fast friends by proximity. Throughout high school, she was always someone I could go to about anything, someone who greeted anyone with open arms. She never judged, was always quick to show compassion, and certainly knew how to have a good time.

As time went on, our friendship got stronger, and by graduation, we were deeply upset to leave each other for college. Unlike false promises made by many friends, the message of, “stay in touch, I love you, and I’m here for you,” had the utmost validity. Ohio State is a few hours away; close enough to make a visit over a break, but far enough away to make weekend visits less than easy.

Along with keeping up by texting and using Facetime, we write letters and cards of encouragement to each other in the mail. These letters are invaluable to me: on tough days, I reread them to remind me that I am loved and have a support system. It is much more meaningful to have a palpable note hanging in my room rather than a transient text message.

But it wasn’t until I was asked by her family to write a letter for her for a retreat, that I realized I hadn’t stopped to thank her in our five years of friendship for all she has done for me. It’s strange: when someone is close to you, you often see them as a constant part of your life, an unmoving force. Until you are apart, you never really stop to look back on all that they had done in your life.

Writing that letter was a turning point for me. It showed me I had to work on gratitude, because I had so much to be thankful for, and she needed to know it too.

Sitting down to write the letter was easy: I could go on and on about all the late night phone calls, ‘emergency’ text messages, last minute hangouts and everlasting support. The words seemed to flow effortlessly: I realized just how many good things I could think of about her and how many good times and memories we had shared together.

While I was writing, a memory of Alexis at a high school retreat kept flowing into my mind as a thought of our friendship. All students in my class were given candles and lined up in a circle. One student had a lit candle, while the rest of the candles were unlit. The student with the flame had to take their candle and light the wick of someone else in the class’s candle who had been a true friend to them. As we continued around the circle, I remembered feeling shocked and so full of love as Alexis crossed the circle to light my candle. It was in that moment that I realized not only had she been a true friend to me, but she saw me as one to her too.

In my letter, I told her how much I appreciated all that she did for me. I told her how she motivated me in ways she would never know to be my best and do my best, because she was always rooting for me. I told her how she knew me better than I knew myself, and always worked to settle my fears and help me make the best decisions because of her knowledge of me. I told her how I could see us in the future planning weddings, baby showers, and watching our kids grow up together. Finally, I told her how I knew she was a true blessing in my life. When so many others had walked out, she stayed, and that meant the world to me.

I know not everyone finds a friend as special as she is, and I will never take her for granted.

I challenge you: If you have had a friend like Alexis in your life, take time to tell them a simple ‘thank you.’ When we are so used to having them around all the time, those simple two words can go unsaid.

Alexis Nieszczur is a second-year majoring in pharmacy.